"Daddy, I'm afraid, won't you stay a little while?
I never thought I'd see the day I had to say goodbye
Daddy, please don't go, I can't do this on my own
There's no way that I can walk this road alone
Daddy grabbed my hand and said
Just 'cause I'm leavin'
It don't mean that I won't be right by your side
When you need me
And you can't see me in the middle of the night
Just close your eyes and say a prayer
It's okay, I ain't scared
I won't be here, but I'll always be right there
Even though I'm leavin', I ain't goin' nowhere"
~Luke Combs "Even Though I'm Leaving"
Five years ago today a person whom the adjective "special" does not do justice left this Earth and heaven gained one heck of an angel. Five years ago today I hugged Papa D goodbye, kissed his forehead, and told him I loved him one last time. At 1:23 p.m. five years ago today, my dad joined my brother, Rick, in glory.
As I've been thinking about this day as it has been approaching and reliving in my mind the memories of the final days of my dad's life, while watching cancer steal him away from me was the most horrible and heart-wrenching experience I have ever experienced in my 50 years, I am thankful it was five years ago and not today. I am thankful it was in a time where I could sit with him and hold his hand while we watched t.v. or while he rested; be there to help him and my mom; be there to enjoy what time we had left with him, to make memories, and to share "lasts" with family and friends; be there to watch Dirty Dancing with him one final time; be there by his side surrounded by family and friends as we said our final goodbyes as he took his last breath. Had that been today? Sure, I would have gotten to spend five more years with my dad but what a differently heartbreaking goodbye it would have been. No family gatherings, no lasts, no quiet moments alone, and no celebration of life service due to the ban of groups/gatherings. I sure do miss my dad and would give anything to have even just five more minutes with him but I could never imagine having deal with his final days in the current situation we are in and I am thankful God planned it the way He did.
What a blessing and honor it is that I can say I had the most amazing man for 45 years of my life to call my dad and even though I am 50 now and have lived the past five years without him and will live the rest of my days the same, I know he is with me always and I am thankful this life is not the end because I know I will see him again one day. Love you, Papa D. Until we meet again…
If you would like to learn more about Papa D and why he was so special to so many, I invite you to watch his celebration of life service here on YouTube.
